Down the River
by NMMacc18
Summary: After another wagon crash, causes Calvin and Hobbes to go over a waterfall and get lost. Calvin discovers a treasure map, and thinks that it will help he and Hobbes get rich and get them close to home. Will they find the treasure? Probably not. Will chaos occur? Probably, because this is Calvin and Hobbes were talking about here.
1. Another Wreck

**Chapter 1: Another Wreck**

It was a peaceful, quiet, and sunny day in a forest in Chargrin Falls, Ohio. All you could hear were the sounds of nature, the birds chirping, and so on.

"LOOK OUT FOR THE TREE!"

"I CAN SEE YOU FURBALL!"

But then again, its never peaceful when Calvin and Hobbes are on an out of control wagon nearly crashing into everything in the forest.

"TREE!"

"WOULD YOU RELAX FURBALL?!"

"NOT WHEN YOUR NEARLY KILLING US I CAN'T!"

"Just shut up..." Calvin said annoyed as he continued to drive the wagon.

After a couple more minutes of avoiding trees among other things, Hobbes began to sense something.

"I feel like we're going to fall." Hobbes said to Calvin.

"What do you mean fall? There's no cliff in sight!" Calvin said.

But just as soon as Calvin said that, they cleared the trees and then flew off a cliff, and crashed into the river, but the two still managed to stay on the wagn, and were trying to find land as the river was whisking them away.

"WE'RE GOING TO DROWN!" Hobbes said franticly as the wagon nearly capsized.

"RELAX! I'LL GET US TO DRY LAND!" Calvin said as he looked for some land, but then saw something up ahead that caused him to panic.

"WATERFALL!" Calvin yelled as the river continued to rush them, and hurled them through the waterfall, but instead of crashing into the water, the two crash landed on dry land, much to their relief.

"WE'RE ALIVE!" Calvin said in relief.

"So how are we going to get back home?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin then gulped, and then realized that he and Hobbes were lost.

"Well, I'd say we try and go in the direction that we came in." Calvin suggested as he grabbed the wagon and began to walk in the direction they came in with Hobbes, and soon found themselves even more lost then they already are.

"How close are we now?" Hobbes asked Calvin.

"Oh! Uh, I think we're about, uh..."

"Great job for getting us lost even more." Hobbes said annoyed.

Calvin ignored Hobbes, and then saw a cave in sight.

"Hey! Let's go in that cave and see if we can find our way home from that!" Calvin said as he ran into the cave, with Hobbes coming close behind.

"I don't see how going in a cave will get us home." Hobbes asked.

"Simple, there's wise sages in caves that will answer any question you want!" Calvin said.

"Wise sages live on mountain tops, not caves you maroon." Hobbes said.

Calvin groaned.

"What are going to do? What are we going to do?" Calvin groaned as he looked around the cave desperately, and then he saw a piece of paper and ran to it.

He grabbed the paper, and saw that it was a treasure map.

"Hey Hobbes look! A treasure map!" Calvin said excitedly as he showed the map to Hobbes.

"Are you sure this is real?" Hobbes asked as he looked at the paper.

"Of course it is! All treasure maps that I found are always 100% legit!" Calvin said.

"So how does this help us get home?" Hobbes asked.

"Simple! We follow the map to the treasure, then we get rich, and then we can go home!" Calvin said.

"But the map won't lead us home." Hobbes pointed out.

"It might lead us close to home!" Calvin said.

"If anything, it will probably lead us further from home." Hobbes said.

"No it won't! Treasure maps always give you good luck! So come on! There's treasure to find, money to be made!" Calvin said as he ran out of the cave with the map in his hand.

Hobbes sighed, and he ran to catch up to Calvin, knowing that this treasure hunt would probably lead to disaster.


	2. Bears!

**Sorry for lack of updates, just been busy lately. I'll have this story done this weekend.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Bears?!**

Calvin and Hobbes were walking, and walking, following the map Calvin had. They walked for a long while, and it grew darker and darker.

"Let's just give up and try and set up camp for tonight." Hobbes said exhausted.

"Are you crazy?! We're past halfway there! No way we're giving up now!" Calvin said determined to find the treasure.

Hobbes groaned as the two trudged on.

Calvin stepped on a tree branch, but the two thought nothing of it and kept on, until they heard some grumbling.

"Your that hungry?" Calvin said to Hobbes.

"It wasn't me. What are you talking about it?" Hobbes said.

Calvin gulped, then they saw something approach.

It was a BEAR.

"RUN FOR IT!" Calvin yelled at the top of his lungs and ran off, with Hobbes following closely behind.

The bear was hot on their trail, and seemed to be gaining on him.

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Hobbes yelled.

Calvin's mind raced furiously, he thought on how he could get rid of the bear. He saw a cave up ahead, and ran into it, Hobbes followed Calvin inside.

"I think we're safe." Calvin said relieved.

 _ **GROWL**_

Calvin and Hobbes were greeted with 3 more bears.

"RUN FOR IT!" Calvin yelled again as he and Hobbes ran out before the bears had a chance to chase them, and soon lost them.

"That was too close." Hobbes said.

"You said it." Calvin said agreeing.

They started walking slowly again, until Calvin tripped over something.

"Hey! What was that?!" Calvin said annoyed as he got up.

"It looks like something half-buried." Hobbes said looking at the object the was curved from the top.

Suddenly, Calvin realized it was the treasure.

"IT'S THE TREASURE!" Calvin triumphantly said as he pulled on the chest to get it out, with help from Hobbes.

"I'm surprised we actually found it." Hobbes said impressed.

Calvin and Hobbes opened it to find tons of gold, diamonds, emeralds, and a bunch of other items.

"WE'RE RICH! WE'RE BAJILLIONAIRES!" Calvin said jumping up and down.

"Well how much is this worth?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, we will just have to go to the gold shop and see." Calvin said as he grabbed one side of the chest.

Hobbes sighed, and grabbed the other side as the two continued to march on to find the shop back in the city.


	3. Pirated Gold

**Chapter 3: Pirated Gold**

It was almost 9 PM at night by the time Calvin and Hobbes managed to get the chest back to the city and to the "Treasure Shop".

The Treasure Shop was basically a place where you could exchange gold and other valuables for cash.

The cashier was about ready to close up for the night when Calvin and Hobbes came in, and was surprised with the chest.

"Uh, can I help you in anyway?" The Cashier asked Calvin.

Calvin pushed the chest onto the counter and replied, "Yeah, just see how much money we're going to get from this!"

The Cashier opened the chest, and was surprised.

"Hmm, interesting indeed. Hold on, let me take this back for a minute and see its worth." He replied as he took the chest back.

Calvin and Hobbes waited and waited.

"I can't wait to be filthy stinking rich!" Calvin said.

"Dare I ask why?" Hobbes said.

"Because, I can buy the world! I'll be able to buy the Earth! And then I can rule the world!" Calvin said as he laughed, while Hobbes simply rolled his eyes.

Eventually the man came back out.

"So how much is it worth? Billions? Trillions? Zillions?" Calvin asked the cashier.

"Well you see, basically, that wasn't real gold, that was pirated gold you found." The Cashier said.

"What does that mean? I found pirate treasure?" Calvin asked.

The cashier sighed. "No, it means that all that treasure you found is fake, so its worth nothing.

"Oh boy..." Hobbes muttered as he plugged his ears as he prepared for what happened next.

 _ **YOU MEAN I GOT LOST IN THE WOODS, NEARLY GOT EATEN BY BEARS AND FOUND THIS THING FOR NOTHING?!**_

"Uh, yes..." The Cashier said wincing from Calvin's screams. "But if you want, you can keep the treasure chest." He said handing it back to Calvin.

Instead of taking it, Calvin kicked the chest right into the cashier, causing him to go unconscious, and then Calvin opened the cash register and opened it and took all the money down to it, down to the last penny.

"Are you crazy?! Your going to get arrested for that!" Hobbes said trying to convince Calvin to put the money back.

"What? If I can't get any money, I might as well steal some." Calvin said as he tried to stuff the money into his pockets.

Then, a police car pulled up to the shop and two officers came out.

"RUN FOR IT!" Calvin said as he dashed out a back door to escape, with Hobbes following close behind.

The two cops went looking inside and tried to find Calvin, and then they head something.

 _ **SCREECH!**_

"What was that?" The one cop asked.

"I don't know, we better check." The other cop said as they went back outside, to find their cop car gone.

"Are you serious..." The one cop said annoyed.

The other cop grumbled and grabbed his walkie-talkie and spoke into it. "I'd like to report a stolen cop car. We think a kid that robbed the Treasure Shop stole it.

Indeed, the cop was right.

Calvin and Hobbes were swerving and driving like crazy back to their house, but some police cars were coming after them.

"Why are you driving again?" Hobbes asked as he held on for dear life.

"Because I'm the greatest driver ever." Calvin replied.

"Oh sure, this is coming from the guy who got us nearly killed earlier today driving the wagon." Hobbes said.

"Like you could drive any better." Calvin said.

"I could to." Hobbes said.

"I could beat you in a NASCAR race any day."

"You got kicked out of NASCAR because of your horrid driving."

"You always almost get us killed when you drive."

"That's what you always do, not me."

"I do not!"

"Do to."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do."

"I DON'T YOU STUPID FLEA-"

 _ **CRUNCH**_

Calvin never finished his sentence, since he wasn't paying attention to how he was driving, and crashed right into a tree on their street.

Soon the damaged stolen car of Calvin and Hobbes was surrounded by police officers, which was bad enough for Calvin.

But it got worse.

Calvin's parents heard the crash and went out to see what happened and saw the car.

"What happened here?" Calvin's dad asked an officer.

"Oh, were you looking for a 'Calvin'?" The officer asked.

"Yes, we haven't seen him since this afternoon." He told the officer.

"Oh, well in that case, our officers are trying to get him out of the car he stole after he robbed the Treasure Shop, but he doesn't want to budge. Something about that he wasted his day to find pirated gold." The officer replied.

Calvin's parents both groaned.

"I don't even want to know..." Calvin's Mom said.

"I got to get a tracking device for that kid..." Calvin's Dad said grumbling.

 **THE END**


End file.
